


Love Me, Heal Me

by Jacie



Series: NCIS: Alpha Series [12]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Kidnapping, M/M, Physical Abuse, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-27
Updated: 2010-02-27
Packaged: 2017-11-19 12:12:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacie/pseuds/Jacie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is found and longs for Gibbs' love to heal him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me, Heal Me

Gibbs could almost feel how close Tony was, as if his very essence wavered in the air surrounding the team as they searched. Fornell divided the remaining searchers into teams, sending them out in various directions before he hurried after Gibbs, determined to provide backup.

The team leaders kept in touch with Fornell via the radio. The first team to close in on a farm house reported that only an elderly couple was home. The couple had agreed to allow the team to search their home and surrounding barns and storage buildings.

Gibbs’ team was the next to approach a home. They went in quietly, weapons drawn. Their first sign of trouble was after Gibbs had knocked on the door for the second time, following the pounding of his fist with a loud shout, “Federal Agents. Open the door.”

He ducked down the moment he heard a click from within the house. A rifle shot rang out as Gibbs dropped to his stomach on the porch. Other agents took cover and returned fire until Gibbs ordered them to cease.

“You’re surrounded,” he shouted. “You can’t hole up in there forever. Come out of the front door with your hands raised and you won’t be harmed. You have my word.”

There was no answer. Gibbs allowed a few minutes to pass by on the clock, before he ventured closer to the door on his knees and tried the handle. It was unlocked. With a nod to Fornell, he motioned his intent with few hand gestures. Fornell nodded his understanding, then waved for a couple of FBI agents to follow him to the rear of the building. With their movements coordinated, Gibbs slowly turned the doorknob and pushed the front door open as the FBI agents entered through the back door. 

Each team entered cautiously, weapons drawn. “We’re coming in,” Gibbs yelled. “Drop your weapons and keep your hands raised.” 

Ziva and McGee followed him as they entered, carefully clearing the rooms as they searched through the house. They met the FBI agents in the hallway, Gibbs and Fornell nodded to each other as Gibbs motioned down the hallway. One by one, they pushed open the doors and searched the rooms. It was in the master bedroom that they found one man, who lowered his rifle to the floor once he was confronted by multiple agents pointing weapons at him. 

“I’ve got this one, Fornell.”

“We’ll check out the rest of the place,” promised Fornell as he waved his agents back down the hallway, through the kitchen and out the back.

Ziva waited with Gibbs as McGee followed Fornell.

Gibbs approached their suspect slowly and kicked the rifle out of reach. “Lace your fingers together on top of your head. Ziva, cuff him.”

Once Ziva had the man cuffed, Gibbs asked firmly, “Where is Agent DiNozzo?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” replied the man.

“Are you going to stick with that story?”

“Hey! You broke in here. I didn’t know you were Feds. I swear. I have to defend myself out here.”

“Uh huh,” said Gibbs stoically. “Where are the others?”

“What others?”

“Your co-conspirators, co-criminals, partners in crime.”

“I swear, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

While Ziva still had her weapon drawn and pointed at the man, Gibbs stepped forward and patted him down, pulling out his wallet to check his ID.

Around back, Fornell sent his two agents to check the barn, while he and McGee approached the cellar door. “Stay focused, McGee,” Fornell advised quietly as he watched McGee push away a beam and pull the door open. 

“You don’t think they’re down there do you? How could they get out?”

“There could be access from the house. Maybe a trap door in a closet. Stay alert.”

McGee nodded as he slowly followed Fornell down the stairs. As they descended into the darkness, they each pulled out a flashlight, searching around the cellar with the scant light provided. At first glance, they saw no one. 

“See if you can find a light switch, McGee.”

McGee found no wall switch near the stairs, but his eyes followed an extension cord to a power strip that had a on/off switch. The moment after he flipped the power on, he looked down into the cellar and spotted a man.

“Tony?” he called as he lowered his weapon and began racing down the stairs.

“McGee! Clear the room!”

Swallowing deeply, McGee froze in his tracks and finished clearing the room, then raced to Tony’s side. Fornell was beside him in a moment. “McGee, call Ducky. Get him here. And bring your kit. We need to gather evidence. Go.”

As McGee rose to his feet, Fornell radioed his men, who reported there was no one in the barn. “I’m in the cellar behind the house. I want you guys to watch the door. I don’t want anyone down here except for Ducky, his assistant and McGee.”

“What about Gibbs?” his team asked.

Before Fornell could respond, Gibbs broke in on the radio. “What about Gibbs? Fornell, what do you have?”

“Get down here Gibbs. We’re in the cellar, around back.”

Gibbs found his way into the cellar moments later, making his way toward Fornell.

“Where’s Ziva?” asked Fornell.

“Upstairs. She’s watching the perp.”

“Good. No one else needs to be down here, except Ducky.”

Gibbs, shielded his eyes from the bright lights, making a move to reposition the nearest one. His eyes were soon drawn to the naked man, dirty and curled into the fetal position. Chains leading from his ankles held him securely, one to a support beam and the other to a wall. Gibbs wasted no time in rushing to the man’s side.

“DiNozzo? Tony?” he called, his hand gently touching Tony’s shoulder. A deep concern tugged at his features as he cupped Tony’s jaw.

Once McGee returned with the crime scene kit, he began snapping pictures.

The moment the camera clicked, Gibbs focused his attention on McGee. “No more pictures, McGee!” he yelled.

“It’s evidence, Jethro,” said Fornell. “This is a crime scene.”

“He is not evidence,” Gibbs yelled bitterly. “He is a Federal Agent in distress. McGee! Go back upstairs. Find a blanket or comforter. Anything to keep him warm.”

Setting the camera back into the kit, McGee ran upstairs to search for a blanket. Ziva saw him in the hallway, heading into one of the smaller bedrooms.

“Have you found Tony?” she asked, her eyes and gun remaining focused on the man before her.

“Yes. He’s alive. Ducky’s coming to check him out.”

“How does he look? Is he alright?”

McGee shrugged noncommittally. “I didn’t get a good look. He’s breathing, but I don’t think he’s conscious. Gibbs and Fornell are with him.”

“Good. I am glad he has been found.”

McGee managed a nervous smile. “Yeah, Gibbs has been hell to be around since Tony went missing,” he said as he grabbed a blanket off of a bed and folded it up. “He’s not wearing any clothing. He’s cold.”

Ziva nodded as McGee headed back down the hallway at a jog.

It wasn’t long before Ducky arrived. Soon other agents were flooding over the house, gathering evidence. Ziva escorted her captive outside to the vehicle of one of the local detectives.

Palmer was right behind Ducky as they pushed by the FBI agents and took the stairs leading down into the cellar. When they arrived they found Fornell near the bottom step on his cell phone. A few feet away, they saw Gibbs and McGee huddled over a blanket, with Gibbs speaking softly, soothingly, Tony’s head settled in his lap. McGee had his hand on the blanket, about where Tony’s leg would be.

“How is he doing, Jethro?”

The look in Gibbs’ eyes spoke volumes. “Still unconscious, Ducky,” he said, as his fingers threaded through Tony’s hair. 

Setting down his bag, Ducky knelt near Jethro and began to peel away the blanket. “Well, let’s have a look at you, my dear boy. Mr. Palmer, can you do something about the lights, please?”

“Sure, Dr. Mallard. Need more?”

“If you could aim one of them down here, that should be ideal, I would think.”

Palmer nodded as he stepped over to the nearest work light and adjusted the head to point down to where Ducky was working. When he returned to Ducky’s side, he helped pull away the blanket that was covering Tony.

“Goodness!” exclaimed Ducky. “Where are his clothes?”

“Don’t know, Duck,” Gibbs answered softly, “this is how we found him.”

“Was he conscious at all?”

“No. The way he’s curled up, I thought he was cold.”

“I would imagine he is,” agreed Ducky as he took hold of Tony’s shoulders and rolled him onto his back. Once Tony was settled, Ducky used a knife to cut the zip ties binding his wrists. 

“What’s that on his chest?” asked McGee. “Has he been throwing up?”

Palmer handed a small vial to Ducky and they all watched as he scraped up some of the whitish material and placed it into the vial. “I can’t be certain until Miss Scuito runs the sample, however, it seems to be,” Ducky paused as he studied the sample in the light. “It is, quite possibly, semen.” 

Confusion played across McGee’s face. “Semen? I don’t understand. I mean, how?”

Ducky continued his examination, catching sight of the blood smears between Tony’s legs, mostly on the insides of his upper thighs. “I believe Tony has been raped and sodomized during his capture.”

“Raped?” asked McGee, swallowing hard. 

“It’s been known to happen to prisoners. Throughout the ages, actually. Sexual conduct between two men is hardly anything new. It is well recorded back to biblical times. It’s a fact that there is record of a Sacred Band of Thebes in ancient Greece, an army that consisted of one hundred and fifty gay couples. It was thought that these men would fight even harder to defend their lovers who fought at their sides. They were considered to be unbeatable. At least until the day they were all reportedly killed in battle, that is. Fought to the death, it is said, of every last one of them.”

Gibbs ran his hands across his face, trying to hold his composure. Finding Tony raped and beaten was his worst nightmare, other than finding Tony dead. He held his tongue as he watched Ducky work. When he finally spoke, his voice came out broken. “Is he going to be alright?”

“Physically, I am certain he will recover. There appears to be one deep knife wound. Doesn’t look like it caused any significant damage. It will heal, along with the various cuts and bruising. He is dehydrated and appears thin.” Looking up, Ducky glanced at the gallon jugs along the wall, some filled with water, others empty. “It appears he had water, but probably wasn’t drinking as much as he should. It may have enhanced the feeling of coldness. There’s no telling about how often they fed him, but I doubt it was very much and likely wasn’t a very healthy diet at all. How he will deal with this trauma, I can’t say.”

As his call was finished, Fornell moved in closer, kneeling beside Jethro and placing a hand of support on his friend’s shoulder. They watched as Ducky broke a small ammonia inhalant capsule and waved it beneath Tony’s nose. Almost instantly, Tony responded, shaking his head and blinking his eyes.

“Anthony? Anthony, can you hear me?” Ducky asked, shining a pen-sized flashlight into Tony’s eyes. “Anthony? Can you answer me?”

Tony took his time as his mind processed the sudden appearance of Ducky. His eyes focused onto Ducky as he wet his lips with his tongue. His voice came out softly, sounding desperate. “I can’t handle much more. Please find me. Please?”

“We’re with you, Anthony,” Ducky assured him, patting his shoulder. “You’re going to be fine. Do you feel any specific pains anywhere? We need to make sure you don’t have any broken bones. Are you injured? Any pain?”

Tony continued to stare at Ducky as if he were a mere specter, rather than a living man in Tony’s presence. “Ducky?”

“Yes, Anthony?”

“Tell Gibbs that I love him.” As soon as he spoke the words, Tony closed his eyes and settled back against the floor.

Ducky took Tony’s hand and held it for a moment, then checked his pulse. “We have to get him back to a hospital.”

“Is he okay?” asked Gibbs pointedly.

“I think he will be,” Ducky replied. “Jethro, this isn’t something I’ve had much experience with.” After pausing for a thoughtful moment, Ducky continued, “I can’t say that I have ever dealt with a male rape. He is going to need to go through a few sessions with a therapist for evaluation. Even without being raped, it would be required after a kidnapping anyway. I’ll know more after we get him back to a hospital for a proper examination. There isn’t much more I can tell you out here in the field.”

Gibbs nodded, then took Tony’s hand into his own, bringing it to his lips and kissing it before holding it against his cheek. “Do you think he realizes we’re real?”

Ducky shifted his eyes to Tony for a moment, before returning his gaze to Gibbs. “I think he’s not sure. It’s obvious he’s had a difficult time here. I wouldn’t doubt that he has dreamt and imagined his rescue so many times that he’s not certain it’s actually happening. Mr. Palmer, please retrieve the gurney so we can get Anthony back to Bethesda as quickly as possible.”

Gibbs took the van's keys from his pocket and tossed them to McGee. “I’m going to ride in with Tony.” His hand rubbed against Tony’s arm. “We’re with you, Tony. You’re going to be fine.”

It wasn’t long before Palmer returned with the gurney. Gibbs, Palmer and Ducky moved Tony, covered him with a sheet and lifted him from the cellar. Once he was out in the sunlight, Tony blinked his eyes and squinted. Looking up, he studied the faces.

“Hang in there, we’ll have you back in no time,” Ducky assured him.

“So this is what it’s like to be dead,” Tony mused. “Doesn’t feel much different. Not really.”

“You’re going to be fine,” Gibbs said, reaching for his hand.

Tony gave Gibbs’ hand a squeeze. “Jethro, I kept hoping you’d find me in time.”

Gibbs glanced back at Ducky. 

Ducky patted Tony’s shoulder. “He’ll be fine Jethro. It’s going to take a little time is all.”

Tony rolled his head back so he could look up at Ducky. “I can still hear every word you guys are saying. It’s so weird. Not how I imagined at all. It’s sort of like Bruce Willis in _The Sixth Sense_. Only, he doesn’t realize he’s dead.”

“Damn it, DiNozzo,” yelled Gibbs. “You’re not dead. Stop pretending you are.” 

When they stopped, Gibbs smacked Tony lightly on the top of his head, reminding him, “You are not dead. We’re taking you to the hospital to get checked out.”

Tony remained silent as they secured the gurney. He listened as Palmer took the driver’s seat, closed the door and started the engine. Ducky was at his side, pulling the bandaging away from his knife wound. Gibbs was beside him as well, one hand holding onto Tony’s hand, the other stroking through Tony’s hair. 

“You are going to be fine,” Gibbs assured him once more.

“He’s quite right, you know,” said Ducky as he tended to Tony’s wound. “You will need some stitches for the knife wound, I’m afraid, but you will heal from this.”

Ziva drove the van following the others. She glanced at McGee from time to time. “We have found Tony and you are still concerned, yes?” she asked. “You seem troubled.”

“Ziva,” McGee said softly, “Ducky said Tony was raped.”

“Raped?”

“Yes.”

“By men?”

“Yes. He just, he didn’t look good, Ziva.”

“Well, he has been held against his will for several days. It will take him time to deal with what he’s gone through. He will be fine.”

“It’s my worst nightmare. Being taken like that and beaten and raped. I never thought anything like that would happen to anyone I know.”

“These things happen. He will be fine.”

“To have someone physically assault you like that. Not being able to choose. Not being able to stop it. I wouldn’t know how to deal with that.”

“Then it is a good thing they did not take you.”

“What are you saying, Ziva? That it’s a good thing they grabbed Tony off the street? That because he’s been with a man and he likes sex you think it doesn’t matter that he was raped?”

“McGee, all I am saying is that perhaps Tony is better equipped to handle this.”

McGee rubbed his hand across his mouth as scenarios played through his mind. “It could have been me.”

“It could have been any of us.”

“No, Ziva. Gibbs and I, we were given some intel. They originally were targeting me. They only took Tony because he was an easier target to capture. They took him because he goes out more. It could have been me. I could have been the one who was. Raped.”

Ziva looked at McGee, then returned her attention to the road. “McGee, this is not about you. It was not you. It was Tony who was taken and it was Tony who was raped. He is the one who has to deal with this. It would serve him better to be concerned about what actually happened to him, rather what did not happen to you.”

“You’re right. You’re right. I know. I just can’t stop thinking about it. About how horrifying it would be to be taken and beaten. Raped. I don’t know what to say to him.”

“You tell him that you are there to support him in any way that he needs. He needs us to be strong for him. We all need to be there in case he needs someone to talk to or someone to be there for him. He deserves our loyalty.”

As they neared the city, Ducky raised his eyes to Gibbs. “Jethro, you know the ER is commonly backed up.”

“He’s a Federal Agent. They’ll take him in quickly.”

“He only needs minor stitching in the ER. Nothing I couldn’t handle back at NCIS. I know it’s a bit out of the way, but I think it would save time in the long run. I could have him stitched up in no time without the hassle of all that nasty paperwork.”

Gibbs nodded in agreement. “Let’s do it, Duck.”

“Perhaps you could call ahead to Bethesda. See if you can talk to that Dr. Pitt. Perhaps he can get things set up so they have someone ready to evaluate Tony the moment we arrive.”

“I’m on it,” said Gibbs, flipping open his cell phone.

McGee and Ziva followed them to NCIS Headquarters and into the morgue area. McGee raced ahead. “I thought he was going to be okay?” he asked. “I thought everything was fine. What happened?”

Gibbs placed his hands on McGee's shoulders and stared into his eyes as Ziva approached. “Tim, he is going to be fine. Ducky thought it would be faster to bring him here to stitch him up. Less paperwork. That’s all.”

McGee released a sigh of relief. “I’ll go tell Abby what happened.”

The others watched as Ducky set to work on cleaning and stitching Tony’s wounds. “We’ll have you all set in no time, my dear boy.”

“Ziva, I need you and McGee to keep working this case. Fornell has the lead. Give him any assistance he needs. If you need me, I’ll be at Bethesda.”

Ziva nodded her head. “But you prefer that we do not need you, yes?”

“I’ll check in with you later on. For now, I need to be there for Tony.” Gibbs answered his cell phone as Ziva walked away. When he closed it, he turned back to Ducky. “That was Dr. Pitt returning my call. They have everything set up for Tony. We’ll be meeting a Dr. Bainbridge at the hospital. He’ll be handling Tony’s case.”

“He’s one of their top doctors. Tony will be in excellent hands.”

Gibbs threw his arm around Ducky’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “He already is.”

***

Dr. Bainbridge allowed Ducky and Gibbs to remain in the room as he examined Tony. “You did a fine job stitching him up, Dr. Mallard.”

“Thank you and please, call me Ducky. It was a minor enough wound. Nothing complicated.”

“You were correct in your original assessment, Ducky. He has been beaten and raped. I’ll have one set of the samples sent over to NCIS Headquarters right away for your forensic scientist to go over.”

“But he will heal from this?” asked Gibbs.

“His physical condition is actually pretty good.”

“Then why can’t he stay conscious? Why doesn’t he realize what’s going on?”

“Agent Gibbs, it’s likely that he wasn’t allowed much sleep. He’s fatigued. It’s hard for him to focus mentally right now. It’s not unusual in these cases for the victims to have trouble defining what is real and what is imagined. He will come out of it once he has rested. I’ve got him started on an IV and once he wakes up, we’ll get him started back onto a proper diet. Like Ducky said, his wounds are all fairly minor. The knife wound was the worst of it, physically.”

“Worse than being raped?”

“From a physical standpoint, yes, the knife wound will take longer to heal. Unless he has contracted any of a number of STDs, he should heal fairly quickly from the physical abuse.”

“So it’s not a big deal that he was raped?” Gibbs asked, his hands clenching as his voice became harsher. Ducky reached out, grabbing Gibbs’ arm, holding him steady.

“No, not at all. I’m merely saying that the knife wound is the worst of his physical injuries. He will heal, physically. In my opinion, his mental state is of more concern than his physical state at this point. We will get him assigned to a psychologist. Once he’s had a session or two, we’ll have a better grasp of how he is doing.”

“Jethro,” Ducky said softly. “Anthony will be fine, but it is going to take some time for him to heal from this. He’s a strong young man and he will get through this.”

“Thanks, Ducky,” Gibbs replied softly as he went to Tony’s side, lacing his fingers with Tony’s.

Gibbs remained at Tony’s bedside throughout the night. Ducky stayed for a couple hours before he had to leave to care for his mother. Gibbs watched Tony’s face carefully, waiting for any signs of consciousness. From time to time, he ruffled Tony’s hair, then smoothed it down again. Mostly he talked softly to Tony, reassuring him everything was going to be fine and that the whole team was there to support him unconditionally.

When Tony finally awoke, it was daylight. He saw Gibbs standing at the window, staring out across the city.

“Wow, this time I got a room with a view. Quite an upgrade from the biohazard quarantine area.”

Gibbs turned quickly, returning to Tony’s side. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been run down by a Mack truck.” Tony winced as the pain caught up to him.

“You’re going to have to go through a few therapy sessions.”

“I’ll buy you dinner if you can get me out of it.”

“Don’t tease, Tony. You’ve been through some serious trauma. It’s SOP under the circumstances. You know that.”

“Yes, Boss. I suppose I do. But I’m fine. My head’s still on straight.”

Gibbs’ voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m sorry we didn’t find you sooner.”

“Boss? Never apologize. Sign of weakness.”

Gibbs smiled slightly and threaded his fingers through Tony’s hair. “Seems like I’ve been breaking a lot of my own rules lately.”

Tony gave Gibbs hand a squeeze. “I can think of one that I’m pretty glad you’re breaking.”

“Oh, so now you think we’re dating and not just sleeping together?”

“Ah, the minor subtleties of Gibbs’ rules. You shouldn’t date a co-worker, but screwing them is fine.”

“Not screwing them, sleeping with them is fine. Screwing them over is not. We had a leak at NCIS, Tony. She was feeding information to her brothers.”

“Who?”

“Sheila Yancy. File clerk.”

“No way.”

“Yeah. It's true. Her maiden name is Santori. Joseph and Matthew Santori are her brothers. We got a shot from the traffic video of the van you were taken in. Abby identified the Santori brothers in the shot. Sheila must have been giving them some inside information about the cases we were working on. They targeted you for information.”

“Yeah, they told me. They questioned me about our cases. At first, they said they were looking for Jeanne, but then they moved on. They asked me about a lot of cases, like they didn’t want me to know what they were really wanting to know about.”

“The Santoris were linked to the Barrett case. Did they tell you anything? Any information on why they’d be interested in our cases?”

“They kept talking about some job. I didn’t get the details. Only that they would keep me alive until the job was over. They were going to use me to negotiate if they were caught. Hey, boss? Did you catch any of them?”

“There was one at the house where we recovered you from. Roger DeBlasio.”

“RD,” Tony said thoughtfully. “They only used nicknames around me. Jay was the leader. Jay, RD and a younger guy, Ace.”

“Can you ID these guys?”

“Absolutely! And they know it.”

***

After two weeks of therapy sessions, hospital care and flirting with the nurses, Tony was released. Instead of heading home, he took a cab to NCIS headquarters, then headed upstairs to the squad room.

“I’m back!” he called enthusiastically as he rounded the corner by Ziva’s desk. Ziva smiled, while McGee nearly tripped over himself running to Tony and embracing him.

“You look good.”

“Thank you, McProbster. I’m feeling pretty good as well.”

Gibbs looked up, nearly expressionless. “When did they release you?”

“A few minutes ago. I took a cab here.”

“They were supposed to notify me. I would have picked you up, DiNozzo.”

“Hey, Boss. No harm, no foul.”

“You’re not cleared to come back to work yet. Are you?”

“Not yet. I just wanted to come by and say hello to everyone.”

“It’s not like they didn’t all visit you at Bethesda a couple hundred times.”

Tony nodded and gave a small wave. “Well, alright then. I guess I’ll be going home.”

Rising from his desk, Gibbs quickly went to Tony’s side, then nodded toward the elevator. “Come on, I’ll drive you.”

The moment they were alone, Tony flipped the elevator switch, stopping the car. “Are you mad at me? You don’t seem very happy to see me.”

“I wanted to take you home from the hospital. You don’t need any additional stress right now. You need to concentrate on getting better.”

“I told you, I am fine.”

“You’re not cleared for duty.”

“Not yet, but I will be. They want me to go through a couple more therapy sessions. SOP, you said so yourself.”

Few words were spoken in the car as Gibbs drove Tony back to his own home. He stopped the car outside, but remained in the driver’s seat, the car still running. “I’ll try to be home early. We’ll have dinner. I bet you’re ready for a steak.”

“Is everything okay, Jethro?”

“Yes. Everything is fine.”

“I meant, between us.”

“Yes. Everything is fine between us. I just have this case in my head right now. We’re going to get these bastards and make them pay. Every last one of them. Airtight case. Even the Santoris will go down on this one.”

Tony nodded slowly, then opened his car door. “Okay. I’ll see you for dinner, then.” He watched as Gibbs pulled away from the curb, headed back to work. 

Once inside, Tony made his way upstairs. It seemed like a long time since he had slept in Gibbs’ bed. Pulling back the bedspread, Tony laid a palm against the clean sheet. There was something pleasing about the familiar touch. It wasn’t long after Tony crawled beneath the sheets that he fell into a sound sleep.

Hearing Gibbs banging around in the kitchen hours later woke Tony. Rolling onto his back, he yawned and stretched before getting up, pulling on his jeans and going downstairs.

He found Gibbs cooking steak in the fireplace. He smiled and shook his head. No one but Gibbs would think to cook in the fireplace. As strange as it was, in Tony’s world, it was a comforting normalcy. 

“Hey, Boss. I’m glad you’re home.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. I think all I needed was a nice long nap in a familiar bed. It’s hard to sleep in a hospital, with the lights and constant interruptions.”

Gibbs barely grunted in response. Tony sighed and headed into the kitchen, pulling two bottles of beer from the refrigerator before heading back to the living room. 

Gibbs was cutting the steak in two, placing each half on a separate plate. “Should you be drinking? Aren’t you on pain meds?”

“Yes, I should be drinking. And I do have pain meds, but the pain hasn’t been that bad. The doc said I don’t need to take them unless I’m hurting.”

Gibbs opened his beer and tapped his bottle against Tony’s. “I’m glad you’re back.”

Tony smiled. “Me, too. It was tough, hard being held captive. It was hard keeping it together.”

“I can imagine.”

“I knew I’d be rescued though. Somehow, some way, I knew you’d find me. That’s what kept me going.”

“They were good. If you hadn’t escaped and left those clues for us. If those kids hadn’t found your jacket, cut up and bloody, I don’t know.”

“It might have taken longer, but you would have found me. You had Sheila and her brothers. One of them would have broken eventually.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“You would have broken one of them. You always do.”

“Yeah.”

“Is everything okay?” Tony asked gently.

“Sure.”

The pair finished their meal in silence. Gibbs did the dishes as Tony watched, leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen. “Planning to work on the boat tonight?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll go on down. What are we working on tonight?”

“Not we. You should go on up to bed. Go on. I won’t be long,” Gibbs said sternly.

Tony nodded, then headed upstairs. He wasn’t usually one for taking baths. It always brought to mind the image of McGee and his bubble baths. And of course, a rubber duckie, because surely any man as old as McGee who openly admitted to still enjoying bubble baths would have to have bath toys. And McGee was the traditional sort, so Tony imagined he’d have a rubber duckie in the tub. And probably those bath crayons that wrote on the wall and wiped off clean. Because Probie would probably find working out calculus equations in the tub to be a perfectly relaxing thing to do.

As his mind wandered, Tony lost track of time. Gibbs came upstairs to find Tony still in the tub, the water cooled. 

“Get to bed, DiNozzo,” Gibbs said as he reached for his toothbrush.

“I must have zoned out.”

“Your body needs rest. Your mind needs rest. I told you to go to bed.”

Tony grabbed a towel and dried off. Sidling up behind Gibbs, Tony rested his chin on Gibbs’ shoulder and studied their reflection in the mirror. His arms wound around Gibbs’ waist as he nuzzled Gibbs’ ear. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Bed, Tony.”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

When Gibbs only glared at Tony through the reflection in the mirror, Tony sighed and headed to bed, waiting for Gibbs to find him. Within a few minutes, Gibbs joined Tony in bed. Without even glancing at Tony, Gibbs grabbed his reading glasses and began reading through a file.

Tony snuggled close, snaking his arm across Gibbs’ stomach as he closed his eyes.

“Go to sleep,” ordered Gibbs.

“Not until you kiss me goodnight,” teased Tony, closing his eyes and puckering his lips.

Gibbs shifted his weight, moving a few inches further away from Tony. He brushed a quick kiss against the top of Tony’s hair before going back to his reading.

“I was hoping for a little bit more.”

“I’ve got this case in my head. We’re going to take this whole group down. Everyone involved. It’s big. They’re well organized.”

“When are you going to take me down?” Tony asked pointedly.

“Take you down?”

“Rip of my clothes and fuck my brains out. I’ve been aching for your touch for so long.” Reaching across the distance between them, Tony laid his hand on Gibb’s chest, rubbing small circles, enjoying the pleasure of the warm touch until Gibbs took his hand into his own, kissing it then returning it to Tony’s side of the bed. “Why are you pushing me away?”

“I’m not. You need your rest.”

“I need you more.” Tony tried again, leaning in close, aiming to connect with Gibb’s lips, until Gibbs turned, allowing Tony’s kiss to fall against his cheek instead. “You don’t want me anymore, do you?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You pushing me away hurts me. More than anything they did to me. Why are you pushing me away?”

Gibbs finally took off his glasses and turned to Tony. Anger tinged his voice. “I’m not. Not pushing you away. You know me. Right now I’m focused on this damn case. I don’t need you laying some guilt trip on me. I need to get these guys.” Turning back to the file, Gibbs replaced his glasses and continued reading. “And you need to get some sleep and get better. You need to heal from all you've been through.”

“I need you to help me get better, Gibbs. Jethro. I need you. I need you to touch me, to hold me, to love me. I need you to make love to me. Now.”

“Not happening tonight, DiNozzo. Go to sleep.”

Tony felt his breath catch in his throat as he fought back the tears he felt welling up. Grabbing his pillow, he got out of bed and headed to the hallway. Stopping in the doorframe, he turned back to Gibbs. “Love heals, Gibbs. Physically, I’m fine. It’s in here that I’m broken,” he said, his finger tapping against his chest, indicating his heart.

Gibbs stared hard at the papers he held in his hands. Words failed him. He knew he wasn’t good at this, discussing his feelings. He wasn’t even certain what he felt. He didn’t want to hurt Tony, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. He felt lost and helpless and he hated having those feelings. “Get some sleep.”

Tony didn’t respond, afraid that if he opened his mouth again the tears would begin to flow. Heading downstairs, he hoped Gibbs would follow him. It wouldn’t be right away, but later, when Gibbs’ mind quieted down enough to let him sleep, then maybe he’d come down and get Tony. 

As Tony settled onto the couch, he wiped away a single tear. “Damn it, Gibbs! I need you. I need you to love me, heal me. Why can’t you understand that? You bastard!”

 

~~~END~~~  
February 27, 2010


End file.
